The Most Empowering Relationships Have These Two Rare Commitments

Many people have been hurt and don’t have the right words to describe their experiences.

Many people feel very little trust of themselves, let alone the world around them.

Many people cannot access their deepest pleasure potential because their ability and desire to let go and be vulnerable has been taken advantage of.

So. Many. Times.

In relationship.

In the workplace.

In their family homes.

And what does getting hurt often cause people to do?

Create tougher barriers and stronger personas.

I want you to use your imagination now.

Imagine the touch of a feather invoking heart expanding emotional release leaving you feeling as though you’ve been touched by angels.

Imagine orgasms so powerful that they fill your entire body with pleasure, leaving you glowing for days to come.

Imagine the sensation of sunshine on your skin while enjoying the presence of loving company bringing you to tears of gratitude for restored feelings of faith.

Imagine the warmth and connection from every deeply loving and pleasurable intimate exchange nourishing your mind, body, heart and soul, leaving you to feel completely refreshed and renewed.

So, what are the rare commitments that give relationship the power to restore and reinvigorate the heart and soul?

The joint pursuit of pleasure and the commitment to outstanding communication standards.

Pleasure is medicine. It has the power to transform the banalities of life into joyous occasions. It can make every day feel divine and transport us to legendary states of consciousness.

The aspects necessary in order to be deeply receptive to pleasure include mutual trust, self awareness and the prioritization of care before sexual gratification.

In order to understand our desires, however, we have to first sit with the raw realness of our individual and shared humanity and clear out all the stories, the “shoulds”, the beliefs, the armor and the fears we’ve been allowing to get in the way of our hearts desires and it’s destination. It’s in the sorting through all of this that our ability to perceive the world within begins to grow with greater clarity and it’s from this place that authentic communication, and thus, authentic connection, really begins to take root.

Authentic connection is the type of connection which builds timeless relationships steeped in truth and freedom. It requires active listening, willingness to be vulnerable in communication and an intent to grow in understanding of another and oneself. It is borne of a willingness to cultivate emotional intelligence and more heart-centered living, both of which it also nurtures.

Together, authentic connection and a commitment to the pursuit of pleasure, a safety net is created in any relationship from which we can explore with confidence.

I began to pursue the wisdom and teachings which promised to bring me to the kind of states I mention above after experiencing a lot of trauma bonding and unresolved anger in my intimate relationships. (Learn more about my journey from pain body to a pleasure filled life here.)

Why? I wanted to be loved. I wanted better sex. I wanted to feel vibrant from the inside, out.

It started with a specific set of lyrics from a song by Leonard Cohen that used to be painted on a planter box in what was once my San Francisco stomping grounds. Those lyrics read like this:

“Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack in everything

That’s how the light gets in.”

What they sing to me is where I’ve gone:

Into the magic of spiritual wisdom and particularly potent esoteric traditions which hold secrets to healing our selves completely in order to step into greater wholeness.

These are traditions which tap into our latent potential and old wounding to transform all the things that are holding us back, and that’s exactly what they did for me.

They are the very same practices that took me from anxious, confused, in pain and feeling unworthy to realizing my personal power, pleasure and desirability.

They are the very same practices I continue to engage on a daily basis which fuel my bliss, my compassion, my ecstasy and my empathy — all of which supply me with the necessary tools to stay in my power and co-create the outstanding relationships and truly delectable sex life I have today.

Visit my website for more information on how to create more ecstatic pleasure in your life and relationships and to sign up for your free Relationship Alchemy Worksheet.